Guy Catfight
by PisceanGirlPower
Summary: ONESHOT:: An argument between Jesse and Paul. Laugh your heads off, honeys. My entry to Lolly's "Testosterone Poisoning" challenge.


**A/N: Please excuse my portrayal of Jesse in a completely un-Jesse like way…but I thought the real Jesse-ness would sound a bit bawwwring in this scenario. So twisted him around a little. Hope you like the fic! ;)**

**And before Lolly kills me, this fanfic is my entry to the 'Testoserone Poisoning' a.k.a. JvsP monthly challenge on her forum "Monthly Mediator Writing Challenge"!**

**Eeeenjoy, my leettle keettens!**

**Xxx PGP**

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**GUY CATFIGHT**

**a PGP fic**

****

"Slater, _That's So Raven_ isn't even borderline BEARABLE!" Jesse cried.

"De Silva, you've totally lost your mind. _That's So Raven_ is SO a better show than _Drake & Josh_, that pathetic excuse for a comedy!"

"Uh, excuse me," said Jesse. "But I beg to differ. _That's So Raven_ is clearly simply a foolish rom-com created by a very bored mind!"

"Yeah," Paul scoffed. "And you call that stupid waste of a half-hour of watching two weirdo guys acting weird, FUNNY?"

"Well, I think _That's So Raven_ contains no substance whatsoever! It's simply a fat girl making weird expressions from time to time and claiming she 'glanced into the future'." Jesse gave emphasis on the last four words with his fingers in a mocking way.

Paul gasped loudly. "You…just said…that…Raven's psychic visions are…_fake_?!"

"Absolutely. There _is_ no such thing as psychics. At least _Drake & Josh_ is a realistic show."

"Oh, yeah! Like it's SOOO realistic for a gargantuan guy to fall out of a bedroom window down two floors and come up with a simple 'ow'."

"Yeah, so Josh has a high physical endurance capacity. Are you using that against him?"

"Ooh…SO high that he screams in pain if his puny brother gives him ONE SLAP?! Didn't he just contradict himself there?"

"Ever heard of exaggeration for fun of the audience?"

"Ever heard of plain STUPIDITY?"

Jesse shook his head. "At least there are some pretty girls on the show now and then. In your dumb show, all we get to see is one supremely elephantine girl with a dumber hairstyle and an even dumber outfit EVERY EPISODE, with her crazy friend – what was it, oh yeah, _Chelsea – _doing nothing but making matters QUITE worse with her bimboish behavior?"

"Raven is NOT…elephantine." Paul sniffed, deeply offended at the brutal insult of his favorite protagonist. "She's maybe…_thickset_, you could say. It isn't the poor girl's fault. It's in the genes, I'm sure."

"And how would YOU know she doesn't go out and buy five stone of candy and pizza everyday and stuff it down her throat!" Jesse demanded. "Then it would KIND OF be her fault, wouldn't it?'

"I'm _quite_ sure she doesn't do any such thing," Paul replied heatedly. "Raven would never do something silly like that on purpose. She has to be perfectly aware she needs to maintain herself for the sake of her show career."

"Yeah, Paul Slater, and _you_'re talking like you're her personal dietician, eh?"

"I don't need to be her dietician to know she is a sensible person. And besides, she does not need a dietician. I'm sure she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Everyone slips up once in a while."

Jesse sniggered.

"What?!"

"Nothing!" Jesse continued his muffled laughing.

"De Silva. Don't push it."

Finally, unable to control himself, Jesse burst out laughing fully. "Slater!" he managed to say in between his mirth. "Oh my God!"

"Jesse!" Paul yelled. "It isn't funny, you know!"

"So is!"

"Slater," Jesse snorted. "We're arguing over two TV SHOWS!"

"So?" Paul sniffed. "I think it's a perfectly legitimate argument."

This only led to Jesse laughing even harder.

"Slater, they're _teeny-bopper_ shows!"

"Well," Paul replied. "So what? We _were_ teeny-boppers ourselves once, you know."

"Oh well," said Jesse. "All right, then! I give up."

"But _That's So Raven_ is still a better show."

"Is NOT!"

With this, Jesse and Slater pounced on each other (A/N: Not in that way, you perverted little people! ;D) and started the guy catfight of the century. Meow.

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**Okay, I won't deny that this is one of the silliest and dumbest fanfics I have ever written, but, oh well!**


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